-- tea, earl grey, industrial strength, hot. -- hypertext -- too much text. hypotext -- too little text. -- Those who do not know Lisp are doomed to reinvent it. -- Global warming is caused by too many humans not keeping their cool. -- IRC/EFnet: gamlerik -- those who do not know Lisp are doomed to reimplement it -- NT 4.0 -- an abbreviation of "new technology for naught" -- statistically, only 1 in 250 people understood anything in this message. -- soon to enter the six-bit generation. please do not be alarmed. -- a software manager is a person who, upon reports of the existence of icebergs, launches a major operation to remove the tip, yet refuses to listen to experts who say that when the tip is removed, some more of the iceberg will float up. such a manager was in charge on the Titanic. -- If dolphins are so smart, but 250,000 of them drown each year when caught in huge fishing nets, why can we not teach them how to get themselves and others loose? -- BEOL and ENDOL: the ultimate general purpose programming languages -- Intellectual laziness is punishable by brain death. It is a natural law. -- free the bound variables! -- the difference between business and standardization is that businessmen want to avoid beating dead horses, while standards prescribe the precise means to deliver corporal punishment to deceased equines. -- Erik Naggum | Oslo, Norway Yes, I survived 2003. Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. -- and there I was, barking up the wrong cons -- <70 percent of [American] adults do not understand the scientific process> -- fact of the day: the Norwegian sales tax is 23% -- errare umanum hest -- Erik Naggum, disillusioned in Oslo, Norway Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. -- the dirty habits of unmarried hackers, # 19: softwear reuse. -- foggy FFI -- external world isolated -- GUI -- Graphics Under the Influence -- trust the source, Luke. -- Erik Naggum, Oslo, Norway Sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from sarcasm. -- those who do not know Lisp are doomed to reinvent it -- in an information society, misinformation is as serious as murder -- mainstreme, adj. fanatically opposed to anything at all unusual -- 404 You're better off without this URL. Trust me. -- The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task, it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it does not need its brain anymore so it eats it! It is rather like getting tenure. -- Go octal! -- Five weeks. I have seen all the news coverage I can take for a the rest of the year. Let me know when life has returned to normal. Thank you. -- (defmacro pretty-loop (&rest parenthesized-forms) "Make the dream that each LOOP clause be parenthesized come true." `(loop ,@(apply #'append parenthesized-forms))) -- natural born Lisper -- Erik Naggum, Oslo, Norway http://www.beltwaybuzz.com/Story%20Four.htm Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. -- C++ is an object-oriented assembly-line programming language. -- The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers. -- Richard Hamming -- imagine if the buyers of the first PC's with PC-DOS didn't have to upgrade. -- Solution to U.S. Presidential Election Crisis 2000: Let Texas secede from the Union and elect George W. Bush for their very first President, relieving the rest of the world. -- what if we held an end-of-the-world party and nobody came? -- Lady Died -- tempus meum perdo -- in my next life, I want to be my cat -- trigraph ??!??! die -- computers -- the only field where knowing the past will make you less able to appreciate the present. -- "He [O. J. Simpson] is going to kill me, and he is going to get away with it." -- Nicole Brown Simpson (1959-1994) -- sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from irony -- "Where do you want to go to jail today?" -- U.S. Justice Department's Windows 98 slogan -- reinvention is its own reward -- "if you know what you want and you don't go out and do it yourself, you're basically a loser, you know." -- Björk. -- help! I'm lost in an n-dimensional universe and I don't know what n is! -- the greatest obstacle to communication is the illusion that it has already taken place -- Thomas J. Watson, founder of IBM: "man shall think. machines shall work." William H. Gates, III, Microsoft: "man shall work. machines shall not." -- see http://www.naggum.no/emacs/ for Emacs-20-related material. -- main () { printf ("%d\n", sin ("foo")); } -- Erik Naggum, Oslo, Norway ***** One manslaughter is another man's laughter. Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. -- sometimes a .sig is just a .sig -- Does anyone remember where I parked Air Force One? -- George W. Bush -- Performance is the last refuge of the miserable programmer. -- I believe in life after Year 2000, four-digit years, and 24-hour clocks. I believe in ISO 8601 as the only external time representation. I believe in a monotonically increasing number of milliseconds as the only internal time representation. I pledge to fight time zones and other time formats. Amen -- on the Net, _somebody_ always knows you're a dog. -- education is for people who can't handle reality the hard way -- NETSCAPISM /net-'sca-,pi-z*m/ n (1995): habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from the realization that the Internet was built by and for someone else. -- Norway is now run by a priest from the fundamentalist Christian People's Party, the fifth largest party representing one eighth of the electorate. -- how to beat Microsoft, death, and poverty: in July 1994, there were more references to my name (3039) in gopherspace than to Microsoft (2557), death (2530), and poverty (2410). (http://veronica.sonoma.edu:8001/top1000.html) -- # -- If you think this year is number 97, | Help fight MULE in GNU Emacs 20! _you_ are not "Year 2000 Compliant". | http://sourcery.naggum.no/emacs/ -- Microsoft Pencil 4.0 -- the only virtual pencil whose tip breaks. -- there was some junk mail in my mailbox. somebody wanted to sell me some useless gizmo, and kindly supplied an ASCII drawing of it. "actual size", the caption read. I selected smaller and smaller fonts until it vanished. -- there's a car that has more computing power than it took to get man to the moon: the BMW 750. but _you_ are stuck here on earth. haha. -- Al-Gore-ism: a procedure for solving an electoral problem in a finite number of steps that frequently involves repetition of an operation. See also algorithm. -- "Hope is contagious" -- American Cancer Society "Despair is more contagious" -- British Farmers Society -- life is hard and then you post. -- miracle of miracles. look what the Net dragged in. -- a good picture may well be worth a thousand words, but on the WWW, even bad imagemaps cost tens of thousands of words. -- if we work really hard, will obsolescence be farther ahead or closer? -- suppose we actually were immortal... what is the opposite of living your life as if every day were your last? -- the problem with this "information superhighway" is mainly that if you ask people to go play in it, they don't even understand when they get run over. -- Please address private replies to "erik". Mail to "nobody" is discarded. -- the Internet made me do it -- if people came with documentation, could men get the womanual? -- Guide to non-spammers: If you want to send me a business offer, please be specific and do not put "business offer" in the Subject header. If it is urgent, do not use the word "urgent". If you need an immediate answer, give me a reason, do not shout "for your immediate attention". Thank you. -- man who cooks while hacking eats food that has died twice. -- 404 Give me a URL I cannot refuse. -- users should be computer-friendly. -- Erik Naggum, Oslo, Norway Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. Now showing on CNN: Harry Potter and the Search for Weapons of Mass Destruction -- "He didn't care." "They never do." -- don't call people who don't understand statistics idiots. take their money. -- Abort, Retry, or Upgrade? -- Please address private replies, only, to "erik". Junk mail, spam, stupid flames, courtesy copies, etc, should be sent to "nobody". -- if DUI is "Driving Under the Influence" then GUI must be "Graphics Under the Influence" -- Those who do not know Lisp are doomed to reimplement it. -- Bastard Sex Therapist from Hell: "Read the F*cking Manual!" -- environmentalists are much too concerned with planet earth. their geocentric attitude prevents them from seeing the greater picture -- lots of planets are much worse off than earth is. -- Attention, Republican members of the House Judiciary Committee! We have intercepted a coded transmission from Bill Clinton to Saddam Hussein that puts your life in jeopardy. Clinton is prepared to cease fire if all of you are killed by Iraqi terrorists, whom he won't prosecute. Be warned! -- those who do not know Lisp are doomed to reimplement it -- The United Nations before and after the leadership of Kofi Annan are two very different organizations. The "before" United Nations did not deserve much credit and certainly not a Nobel peace prize. The "after" United Nations equally certainly does. I applaud the Nobel committee's choice. -- My hero, George W. Bush, has taught me how to deal with people. "Make no mistake", he has said about 2500 times in the past three weeks, and those who make mistakes now feel his infinite wrath, or was that enduring care? -- if you think this year is "97", _you_ are not "year 2000 compliant". see http://sourcery.naggum.no/emacs/ for GNU Emacs 20-related material. -- I could tell you, but then I would have to reboot you. -- "Where do you want to go to jail today?" -- U.S. Department of Justice Windows 98 slogan -- ATTENTION, all abducting aliens! you DON'T need to RETURN them! -- The United States of America, soon a Bush league world power. Yeee-haw! -- my other car is a cdr -- Erik Naggum, Oslo, Norway Today, the sum total of the money I would retain from the offers in the more than 7500 Nigerian 419 scam letters received in the past 33 months would have exceeded USD 100,000,000,000. You can stop sending me more offers, now. -- if you think big enough, you never have to do it -- if you think this year is "97", _you_ are not "year 2000 compliant". see http://www.naggum.no/emacs/ for Emacs-20-related material. -- There is nothing in this message that under normal circumstances should cause Barry Margolin to announce his moral superiority over others, but one never knows how he needs to behave to maintain his belief in it. -- 404 You're better off without that file. Trust me. -- Support organized crime: use Microsoft products! -- Why did that stupid George W. Bush turn to Christian fundamentalism to fight Islamic fundamentalism? Why use terms like "crusade", which only invokes fear of a repetition of that disgraceful period of Christianity with its _sustained_ terrorist attacks on Islam? He is _such_ an idiot. -- (defun pringles (chips) (loop (pop chips))) -- God grant me serenity to accept the code I cannot change, courage to change the code I can, and wisdom to know the difference. -- it's election time in Norway. explains everything, doesn't it? -- The year "98" was new 1900 years ago. | Help fight MULE in GNU Emacs 20! Be year 2000 compliant, write "1998"! | http://sourcery.naggum.no/emacs/ -- I found no peace in solitude. I found no chaos in catastrophe. -- :wumpscut: -- Attention Microsoft Shoppers! MS Monopoly Money 6.0 are now worthless. -- Nie wieder KrF! Nie wieder KrF! Nie wieder KrF! Nie wieder KrF! -- Y2K conversion simplified: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December. -- The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers. -- Richard Hamming -- religious cult update in light of new scientific discoveries: "when we cannot go to the comet, the comet must come to us." -- if we work harder, will obsolescence be farther ahead or closer? -- ALGORITHM: a procedure for solving a mathematical problem in a finite number of steps that frequently involves repetition of an operation. ALGOREISM: a procedure for solving an electoral problem in a finite number of steps that frequently involves repetition of an operation. -- Solution to U.S. Presidential Election Crisis 2000: Let Texas secede from the Union and elect George W. Bush their very first President. All parties, states would rejoice. -- I'm no longer young enough to know everything. -- Erik Naggum | Oslo, Norway Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. -- SIGTHTBABW: a signal sent from Unix to its programmers at random intervals to make them remember that There Has To Be A Better Way. -- 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine -- a basic ingredient in quality software. -- -- save the children: just say NO to sex with pro-lifers -- The Microsoft Dating Program -- where do you want to crash tonight? -- Travel is a meat thing. -- suppose we blasted all politicians into space. would the SETI project find even one of them? -- http://www.naggum.no/spam.html is about my spam protection scheme and how to guarantee that you reach me. in brief: if you reply to a news article of mine, be sure to include an In-Reply-To or References header with the message-ID of that message in it. otherwise, you need to read that page. -- I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to death your right to say it. -- Tom Stoppard -- "When you are having a bad day and it seems like everybody is trying to piss you off, remember that it takes 42 muscles to produce a frown, but only 4 muscles to work the trigger of a good sniper rifle." -- Unknown -- Does anyone remember where I parked Air Force One? -- George W. Bush -- Guide to non-spammers: If you want to send me a business proposal, please be specific and do not put "business proposal" in the Subject header. If it is urgent, do not use the word "urgent". If you need an immediate answer, give me a reason, do not shout "for your immediate attention". Thank you. -- @1999-07-22T00:37:33Z -- pi billion seconds since the turn of the century -- In a fight against something, the fight has value, victory has none. In a fight for something, the fight is a loss, victory merely relief. Post with compassion: http://home.chello.no/~xyzzy/kitten.jpg -- In a fight against something, the fight has value, victory has none. In a fight for something, the fight is a loss, victory merely relief. 70 percent of American adults do not understand the scientific process. -- Carrying a Swiss Army pocket knife in Oslo, Norway, is a criminal offense. -- The past is not more important than the future, despite what your culture has taught you. Your future observations, conclusions, and beliefs are more important to you than those in your past ever will be. The world is changing so fast the balance between the past and the future has shifted. -- If this is not what you expected, please alter your expectations. -- In a fight against something, the fight has value, victory has none. In a fight for something, the fight is a loss, victory merely relief. -- Erik Naggum, Oslo, Norway Act from reason, and failure makes you rethink and study harder. Act from faith, and failure makes you blame someone and push harder. -- Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer. -- sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from irony -- sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from sarcasm